Archive for the Uncategorized Category

He who Comforts Me

Posted in Uncategorized on December 15, 2017 by HowlingFire

And kicks me in the ass

and teaches me patience……

Yesterday morning I was talking with a fellow Seidh woman, who is in deep relationship with Odin.  We found each other through a mutual friend, a fellow Somaferan, he thought we had a lot in common, and yes we do.  We are both in Service to the Gods, our community and we both are favored by Odin.  Yesterday, we were both waiting for big news as to how our lives might proceed forward.  She did a rune reading and sent me a pic.  I was like, yup that looks like the answer to my question…Isa, Ansuz, Pethro.

Wait, the gods are working, gestation is happening…..She got her good news yesterday!  Me I am still waiting….but having faith.

I went in town to my appointment yesterday, singing and praying on my drive, and calling his name for assistance in getting into my Home.  I arrived at my appointment and sat down with a magazine to pass some time.  I opened up to a small story with a picture of goats and a dog.  “Odin the dog saves goats”…lol…what?   Odin?  of course Odin…a  reminder of faith, a reminder I am being watched over a reminder that no matter what hardships may come my way, he is here to Comfort me, kick me in the ass and teach me patience…..

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“you don’t have to live like a refugee”

Posted in Uncategorized on December 13, 2017 by HowlingFire

First of all, Hail the Bard! Tom Petty!

With his passing there was a lot of Tom Petty playing in the radiosphere….this song got stuck in my head.

I have been living like a refugee.

A night here, a week there, a month here….the longest I have lived in one place in the past four years has been eight months.

When I last saw my former partner, Wayland, I had no idea I would become a refugee of sorts, but alas it has been my place in the Universe…..many places.

Life has become a series of days strung together while waiting….waiting for Home, searching for a place to belong.  Afloat on a sea of uncertainty.

Living on Faith and Gratitude.

The seas have been rough, there have been stretches of good weather but each night the same….

I think I see a beacon upon a shore….I hope it is still there tomorrow night, and that a landing may be in sight.

Last Full Moon of 2017

Posted in Uncategorized on December 3, 2017 by HowlingFire

What?!  Yup it’s true!

Today is the day!

As we make our way through the darkest time of the year, the bright Moon is shining upon us, I find myself in the Home of new friends along the seaside here in Maine.

Looking back over the past Moon cycle, lots of movement has happened not only spiritually and emotionally but physically.  Closed a few doors, opened a few windows.

Looking forward there will be lots of movement in all those realms as well.  I pray with all my might that the Home I have been seeking for over four and a half years is making it’s way to me.

I have a line on an apartment! Yes, and apartment, all mine!  Bwah ha ha….  I hope to know next week, but it is leaning that way…..fingers crossed.

I am also closer to actually dating/taking a lover again….It has been quite a sabbatical I have chosen, it has been eye opening, healing and needed.  I had to let my heart grow ready to Love and Live.

In this period until Yule, I am taking a very disciplined approach of exercise, study and health.  More important now than ever.

I pray we don’t start a nuclear war……..

Disclosure is near…….

Daily I am praying……

Life, Pain and Love….

Posted in Uncategorized on October 29, 2017 by HowlingFire

“Child, child, have patience and belief, for life is many days, and each present hour will pass away. Son, son, you have been mad and drunken, furious and wild, filled with hatred and despair, and all the dark confusions of the soul – but so have we. You found the earth too great for your one life, you found your brain and sinew smaller than the hunger and desire that fed on them – but it has been this way with all men. You have stumbled on in darkness, you have been pulled in opposite directions, you have faltered, you have missed the way, but, child, this is the chronicle of the earth. And now, because you have known madness and despair, and because you will grow desperate again before you come to evening, we who have stormed the ramparts of the furious earth and been hurled back, we who have been maddened by the unknowable and bitter mystery of love, we who have hungered after fame and savored all of life, the tumult, pain, and frenzy, and now sit quietly by our windows watching all that henceforth never more shall touch us – we call upon you to take heart, for we can swear to you that these things pass.”

Thomas Wolfe, You Can’t Go Home Again.

She could still smell him…..

Posted in Uncategorized on October 11, 2017 by HowlingFire

She could still smell him

After all this time, how could that be?

Ten years gone by now….and still

That moment felt like eternity

But lasted only seconds

But that smell……

She didn’t want to let go.

She still doesn’t

Living a Dream

Posted in Uncategorized on October 8, 2017 by HowlingFire

Bird Song

Fills the air, Pheobe’s, Blue Jay, Crows ect ect

Loving this moment sitting in my RV…I dreamed this moment as a teenager,

You can have everything, just not all at once, and for varying time periods.

 

 

My days w/o internet

Posted in Uncategorized on September 26, 2017 by HowlingFire

Or  “Facebook Freedom”

So as you can tell, I am back online, here in the Tardis Temple.

I went almost three months without instant access to the internet.  I kind of enjoyed it!

Now that I am back on, I have been for a few weeks, I have made some observations about myself and social medial I wanted to share.

  1. Less anxious about my place in life:  I was not comparing myself to everyone on my feed daily/hourly.  I was just here taking care of my business, homemaking, clearing the land, working on my art ect.    My life and days were full with self, meditation, internal dialogue and Spiritual practice.    Once I got back online, I felt, less than, that I didn’t measure up and more lonely.
  2. Missing out:  I can now see all the things I didn’t get invited to or didn’t attend. This, for me, can be gut wrenching!  When I was a kid I was awkward, asthmatic and heavy.  I did not get invited in general to the Bday parties and sleep overs.  So when I see things I wasn’t invited to I go right back to that place…of being 9, hiding in my closet in tears, sobbing because I was not invited to a Bday party. “What is wrong with me?  Why don’t they like me?”  Those voices playing through my head while watching social media go by. So the little girl in me is sad most of the time.  I do not play with others, in general. No one likes the truth teller.
  3. Getting a “high”, from a “like”.  It is probably the release of dopamine in the brain. But when someone likes my post or responds to it is like a shot of “hey someone likes me.”  When I was off social media….I didn’t care.  I was just here doing my thing, surviving and building a space where I can work my art and be content. Being single and alone most of the time, yes it is nice to be “liked”, but it is not genuine personal contact.  It just fills the need for a short while.
  4. Like Magazines, Social media, just takes up time.  When I was Mothering, a good magazine was helpful to decompress from the day, look at pretty things, read some short articles and maybe find a recipe or craft to work on.   Social media has replaced that.  I used to see it, Facebook, as my friends making their own magazines, as it were, but now knowing what I do about the algorithms it is all just a messed up lie to what I see, brought to me by Facebook, not my friends.
  5. Missing Human Contact: Back in the day, you went to the local bar.  Or I did.  Or I was home alone.  Yes, you could call your friends, have a long conversation.  Otherwise I was trapped at home with my daughter after bedtime.  Now you can roam the world!! Now you can talk with anyone pretty much at any time, including talking to a few people at a time, not just one.    I still miss having a corner bar.

 

In conclustion I realized that as much as I like to keep up with my “freinds”, sometimes it is detrimental to my mental health to try to keep up with the Joneses, and comparing my life to others.  My life is unique, as is everyone’s, but being in Service and living the life of a Gythja, does put me on the edges, and I like it here on the edges.

I have returned, but I have also limited my time.  I do not have a ‘smart phone’, so I can only access social media when I am on my computer, thank the gods!