Well, yeah so Odin.

I personally refer to him as Woden, or He Who Comforts Me.

It was almost ten years now when he sent one of “His”, people into my life.  Now mind you I had Heathens in my life before that.  But at that point in my life, my daughter had gone of to college and I had some making up of time to do.

I knew he was around, and I purposefully kept him out of my line of sight.

So, six years later…..

Here I sit, my small humble desk facing the window, the small tree leafing outside of it.

“You know I helped before” he whispers.

Yes, yes, you did.  For the work I put in, I did make amends for my misdeeds, through your eyes.  I did Serve “the ones you favored”, and hold public events.   I learned, I grew, I struggled, seeking heart and home.  I wandered, I bleed, I hurt, I was robbed, tossed aside and I grew immensely!   I made a home of a gilded cage, carried water, chopped wood.  Lived surrounded by forest, surrounded by danger,  living off grid.

So I feel as though I have surrendered, last Fall I hit another low, or was it a stepping stone?   Still working my way through that.

So as I lay, watching the rain on the fresh green leaves….I wonder, I dream, I remember. They say you should not look back, but look forward.  I only have glimpses of forward.   Like removing a tick, I think I poisoned myself when I extracted myself wrongly from the situation.  So, healing has been long.

So, I feel as though I am being offered a rehabilitation of sorts.  The trick of it is, to answer the daily call.  Dang, I really could use a drill Sargent!  Self discipline is not my strongest attribute.  I can see why having an outside force moves me so much farther than on my own.  I had a Sensei, of sorts, and I much appreciated being pushed and being seen as strong.   I need to be my own, drill sargent, as it were.   The whiny voice”we can’t do that”, ” I don’t wanna”.  Man I really hate that voice.   I try to have compassion for the voice in my head, but sometimes I am just mean to it. I am seeking the answer for this inner conflict.

So….In Service to the Old Man, means I need to be physically strong.  It means I need to be Magically strong.

I have spend the past four years, clearing my Wyrd.  Building my Hamingja, making amends and restoring my Honor.

Now, I know what I must do.  Now I just must do it.


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