Archive for May, 2017

Posted in Uncategorized on May 22, 2017 by HowlingFire

Well, yeah so Odin.

I personally refer to him as Woden, or He Who Comforts Me.

It was almost ten years now when he sent one of “His”, people into my life.  Now mind you I had Heathens in my life before that.  But at that point in my life, my daughter had gone of to college and I had some making up of time to do.

I knew he was around, and I purposefully kept him out of my line of sight.

So, six years later…..

Here I sit, my small humble desk facing the window, the small tree leafing outside of it.

“You know I helped before” he whispers.

Yes, yes, you did.  For the work I put in, I did make amends for my misdeeds, through your eyes.  I did Serve “the ones you favored”, and hold public events.   I learned, I grew, I struggled, seeking heart and home.  I wandered, I bleed, I hurt, I was robbed, tossed aside and I grew immensely!   I made a home of a gilded cage, carried water, chopped wood.  Lived surrounded by forest, surrounded by danger,  living off grid.

So I feel as though I have surrendered, last Fall I hit another low, or was it a stepping stone?   Still working my way through that.

So as I lay, watching the rain on the fresh green leaves….I wonder, I dream, I remember. They say you should not look back, but look forward.  I only have glimpses of forward.   Like removing a tick, I think I poisoned myself when I extracted myself wrongly from the situation.  So, healing has been long.

So, I feel as though I am being offered a rehabilitation of sorts.  The trick of it is, to answer the daily call.  Dang, I really could use a drill Sargent!  Self discipline is not my strongest attribute.  I can see why having an outside force moves me so much farther than on my own.  I had a Sensei, of sorts, and I much appreciated being pushed and being seen as strong.   I need to be my own, drill sargent, as it were.   The whiny voice”we can’t do that”, ” I don’t wanna”.  Man I really hate that voice.   I try to have compassion for the voice in my head, but sometimes I am just mean to it. I am seeking the answer for this inner conflict.

So….In Service to the Old Man, means I need to be physically strong.  It means I need to be Magically strong.

I have spend the past four years, clearing my Wyrd.  Building my Hamingja, making amends and restoring my Honor.

Now, I know what I must do.  Now I just must do it.


Talking with the Old Man

Posted in Uncategorized on May 18, 2017 by HowlingFire

Once again, I turn to him

“I could really use some help”

I know, I have been waiting for you to ask

“Could I please get some help, I am just so lost here”

Well, Valkyrie, what do you think?

“I think you have helped me in the past”

What did I ask in return?

“You asked courage, and work”

So are you ready for that again?

“Yes, Yes I am”

Then you know what to do, don’t you?

“Yes, Yes I do”

Then get to it Woman!

Blood and Motherhood

Posted in Uncategorized on May 15, 2017 by HowlingFire

Motherhood is not only a choice,

it is a choice also not to Mother

I have one child by choice

Quality over quantity

The act of choosing not to Mother

Is still a Mothering act

Memories of choice

Flow every month with the blood

Fierce mother, loving mother

Death and life

Blood and Milk

Hauntingly beautiful….

Posted in Uncategorized on May 12, 2017 by HowlingFire

Posted in Uncategorized on May 10, 2017 by HowlingFire

She stretched her neck….looking up, up….

It seemed the tree stretched on forever

It’s long low brach stretched out for what seemed and eternity

From behind the body of the tree

Peered an eye

He walked towards me slowly

Broad of stature

His one eye glinting


Posted in Uncategorized on May 3, 2017 by HowlingFire

Only a few steps….

Posted in Uncategorized on May 3, 2017 by HowlingFire

Through the misty trees she spied Him.  She thought it was Him….The height, the hat the long coat, they all seemed of Him.

She held her breath.  Part of her on the edge of ecstasy, the other part on the edge of terror.  This feeling, this feeling is where she LIVED!