Soft lips……

“you have really soft lips”, said the woman in a Sugar Skull costume that I kissed at the Goth Ball.

So, facing one’s demons, well sometimes it means embracing parts of yourself that you have pushed into a closet and locked the doors decades ago.  For me, that means facing the   Bi Sexual Woman in me.

It is a long and complicated story, but I have always had the inclinations towards women.  Most of my adult live has been spent cultivating female friendships.   But I have never had a girlfriend.   I had been praying for “Sister Wife”, I am still hoping, for many years, and even attempted with my former Partner and his Love.  It was not was I was hoping.  I am sure part of it was my fear and intimacy issues.  But it was not the right fit.

I have been with a couple before, for an evening of Love making, but once again, there wasn’t much interaction between me and the lovely woman.   I am shy and prudish at times…..yes, it is true.

I am also well guarded.   I struggle with becoming emotionally intimate with humans. My heart is well guarded, barbed wire, moat, brick wall, all surrounded by a wall of Flames.   It took a Berserk to break through those walls, to get to my soft innards, 9 years ago.  I have been saying for a while I was ready to date women, but I have as of yet to do so.

I did, however, very much enjoy Kissing that Sweet Sugar Skeleton the other evening.   I even stayed and talked, flirted.  Now, I must preface this with the fact that she was sitting on the lap of her husband.   I don’t think I would have been talking long with her if that was not the case.  I have said it many times, that it would be easier if a man was there with us.   I have just yet to have all but one opportunity with a Woman I was drawn to.

So with this time of year, and the New Moon….I am proud that I have taken to facing some of the pieces of myself that make me a little….uncomfortable.

 

 

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