Another tooth……

We were just wrestling…..I loved to, and still love to wrestle with my Lovers.    I playfully bit him on the arm…..all he did was flex his muscle, all he did was make a fist.  I let go!

Three days I had a horrific tooth ache.  The whole front of my upper jaw ached. We didn’t have much money in those days, we never did.  But the pain was too much to bare any longer.   Ed said, “I am taking you to the dentist tomorrow, no matter what.”   There was a walk in dental clinic at the Maine Mall, and when he got home from work we went.   The xrays showed, that I had an abscess behind my left front tooth.   What?  How did that happen…..oh, it was the night we were wrestling…..My beloved ex husband, Bubba, passed over 13 years ago….so telling this tale has made me very nostalgic.

To “save” the tooth, we had to kill the tooth.  Root canal.  So a root canal was done at great expense, and over the years I had many problems with that tooth.  It was discolored, and breaking in small pieces. Finally, using the money from my father’s life insurance I invested two thousand dollars on a cap for that tooth.That was five years ago.  Within two years that cap fell of and was lost.   I had just left my former partner, and was homeless at the time, I was so heartbroken and emotionally so fragile, that the lost tooth was so hard on me.   I, like most people am vain, and I know people are judged on their appearance, what to do, I could not afford another one!   Well, an acquaintance in Connecticut actually makes personalized fangs, so she made me a tooth.  It feel out daily but was enough to cover the pointed tooth that lived under the cap.  Finally I was able to get back to dentist, and low and behold, they made me a new one at no cost!  It was not as nice as the the last one, but it was a prayer answered.  That was three years ago.

A few weeks ago it was loose again, I made an appointment just thinking it was loose and gluing it would fix it.  But, NO!!!!  The tooth underneath was decayed, and within a couple of days it broke right off, pin and all.

So now, as I wait for oral surgery, which is not until the end of November, I have a made a wax tooth with wax for braces.  At least the whole is not exposed to air and food, and it kinda looks toothy in the dark…lol.

This has been emotionally challenging for me.  I am vain and it is unsettling to feel the gaping hole with my tongue.   I am piecing together the thousands of dollars it will take for surgery and a partial to replace that tooth and it’s mate that will also be extracted.

Meanwhile, I have been learning and growing.   I am not my looks, I am my soul.   I am not my teeth, I am my heart.

I have a show next week, I was so worried at first…now I will own the hole, I will embrace the Hag!!!!!



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