Ramblings of a rainy morning…..

Finally a rainy day around here!

Being that my car has been parked for a few days, waiting on repairs, yesterday was a productive day in the Temple.  I found many writings of mine, love letters and memorabilia of Loves and lifetimes.

I am finding I am liking my autonomy each day, though there are moments when being alone has it’s drawbacks and concerns.   I am concerned about ever Loving or trusting.   My former partner was tenacious!   I needed that!   Like Brynhild, this Valkyrie has a heart that is walled by shield, fire and barbed wires.  It did take a Berserk to break through after many years of just holding it together for my daughter.  He made his way in, and I am forever grateful for that.

Now, it seems a choice.   I have had many Loves in my life, many types of Lovers, Boyfriends, and relationships.   Now, I find me totally on my own.   I have taken the Summer off from even dating to find myself, my center, and to plan what is next.

Living a Life in Service to the Gods means that my primary relationships are with them.  I remember the moment when Odin was so displeased with my Lover at the time, I could no longer stay.   Or when Diane was so pissed at a misogynist ass, that I had to run, or harm him.   Or the time when Freya pointed me in the direction of someone whom needed Love, Lust and Passion back in their life.

My life belongs to the “Ones whom come after me”.   Job number one, “Protect”.   This often means, my life is not my own, to do as I wish.   This for me is a saving grace, and at times causes great emotional heart break.

If it was only me I was concerned about, I would have stayed with my former Partner.   If it was me I was only concerned about I would have put up with alot more than I did.  I Loved him so intensely and still do.

But, alas.  The young women including my daughter questioned why I could choose to live that way.   My entanglements on many levels were being harmed.   I was harming my partner and I was being harmed.  So, Love does always prevail.  Sometimes to walk away from a great Love is the thing one must do.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: