Proud of Myself

It is not often enough that I give myself credit.  But here are a few things……

I have been on my own since May 2013.   I remember my former partner saying to me, “it would be good for you to be alone”.  I would lash back saying, “I have been alone most of my adult life!”

But, I was not.  I was a single parent.   My days and nights, months and years revolved around the well being of my child, not necessarily myself.   Now mind you, sometimes the two were the same, things to better myself, was also the best for her.  But my true self I did not know until these past few years.

When my daughter went off to college I started dating, and soon fell in Love.  Then my days and night were revolved around my Partner/Love.  I grew SO MUCH in that relationship, but it also took up so much of Me.   It pushed my boundaries in many ways, pushed me to take a hard look inside and to face the fact that I am responsible for me, always.

During that time, I adopted my middle name as my name, to distinguish to myself, one part of my life, sacrifice of Motherhood, to the next step of my life Priestesshood.  I made new friends, read many books, experienced many things and finally stretched out my large black wings.

It was devastating to leave my former Partner, it terrifying, I experienced withdrawal symptoms, homelessness and many personal trials.

During all of the grieve, turmoil and confusion.  I just kept putting one foot in front of another.  Even when I fell flat on my face, many times, I pulled myself back up bruised, beaten and with the help of friends and strangers continued onward.

So today, here I stand.  Still facing trials, on my own.

But with the Grace of my Gods forward I go. Hail!

A pat on the back for myself……

and a Prayer for finding Home again.

 

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