Dance and Prayer

I have long been a Dancer, it is one of the ways I enter into ecstatic states. I have also longed to learn more technical aspects of bellydance, for five years I had wanted to get to dance class, but I always found an excuse to not get there. Well, this week, I MADE IT! Now for many people this may seem like a small and simple thing, but for me it is a huge emotional, spiritual and physical feat.

Physical challenge, I now know exactly how out of shape I really am. My former partner was such a good influence on my physical health, and since I have been on my own, over a year and a half now, I have not been taking good care of myself physically. Having been homeless and grieving, I made poor choices and let myself slip in my exercises, and so I am very pleased, as of yesterday, that has changed. Being in my body is so difficult for me. Especially when there is no one lying beside me, to remind me to be in my body.

Emotionally, I was a heavy child and heavy for most of my young adult life. Seeing myself in mirrors is still a challenge at times, and I struggle with my positive body image. I am also a Lone Wolf, and suffer from PTSD, so going into a classroom with a dozen of other women, made me feel anxious just thinking about it. I found when I arrived at the studio the five year old within was so happy. I flashed back to going to dance class when I was five. I smiled a genuine smile, and knew it would be okay. My spirit was so happy to be on this journey.

Spiritually, Dance for me is a way to commune with the Gods. A way to let my ego go and to just be, just feel.
A way, by myself, to release energy, pray, do magick, and especially on a crowded dance floor, to gather the energy and send it off into the world, where it is needed. I communicate with the Gods, last night it was Woden. To dance to honor them, to hear them, and to speak to them. \

Dance, where my body, soul and spirit are one…..

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