Bittersweet

 

Today I spent the day at Southern Maine Pagan Pride. It was perfect weather for spending the afternoon outside with friends. I was so pleased and honoured to have been able to share some of my knowledge and experience today in the Pagan Community. I have worked so hard in the past five years to find a place within the Community now that my daughter is grown.

Oh, yes that was another thing. Today was my Daughter’s 25th Birthday.

I am so proud of her, and I pray she lives her life’s purpose.

It is always an odd thing, reminiscing about her childhood, when her Father is not here to share these moments with me. It makes me sad, on many levels, she does not have her Dad, I do not have my partner parent, and then I get pissed. Being survivors of suicide adds another layer to my grief, being Frieakin Pissed Off!!!!!!

It is his fault that he is not here. He is not here to get the oil changed in her car, not here to give her advice about men, not here to watch her kick ass in arm wrestling.

So I am so Proud of myself for the work I did today. Serving my community, assisting seekers on their path and I am so pleased that my daughter is off with her friends celebrating her Birthday, my heart is still heavy and grief weighs upon my chest

Under this Full Moon, I will watch some Star Trek, say some prayers and head to sleep shedding salty tears…

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