Growing Pains

Today I will be hosting a MidSummer Blot.

It is hard to imagine it has been a year that I was shown where I needed to be.

After I left England, and my Partner of many years….I was unsure where and what I should do with myself.  I decided that I wanted to host a MidSummer blot to get through the Holy Day, the first one without my Priest.   I was shocked, and humbled when 20 people showed up.  I knew that my Community needed me here, and more and more that has proven true.

I knew where I was needed.

Being In Service to the Gods, I have sacrifice d many personal goals/relationships.  I was supposed to move to the West Coast last year with my Partner.  I had prayed on this for many months, if it was the right thing for me, for us?  There were many signs from the simple to the obvious, but the biggest tell tale sign was a vision I had of my actual death if I went.

One of the Gods I am in relationship with is Odin, he is not subtle when he wants me to know something, and I have found it is in my best interest to listen.   I had sacrificed so much of myself and my life to help build something that was greater than myself.  In the process I realized that I was not as important as I had thought/hoped.  Odin came to me and showed me things I did not want to see, but I knew I needed to see.

I have served many here, and I know that my staying has Served me as well, but it has been one of the most painful things I have endured.

One of the gifts of this year has been to see how I had failed, to see where I fell short.   I thought I knew many things, and in my arrogance,  I was wrong.   I also learned that I learned so much from the past six years.   I sit in conversazione with people and realize how much I have learned, how far I have come and how I could never have done that without my Priest.   I also learned alot about trust, truth and honesty.   How my lack of courage cost me much and caused alot of pain, how my lack of honesty with myself cost me greatly, and how to trust myself again.

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