Part one, what now?

Mars, my ruling planet high and bright in the sky these days. I read a perspective on this time, to change old habits, old energy patterns, as well as thought patterns and I think this  would do me good. It has been nine months since a major shift in my life. It has been months of homelessness, tears, grieve and growth. Also in that time finding that I can still love, still open my heart and grow. In order to continue this growth, I need to leave some things behind. I have always been on to hold onto the past for far too long. It is a Blessing and a Curse in my life. I Love deeply, devote myself, feel deeply and tend to remain loyal far past it’s time. I think one of the reasons I do this is that I am a passionate person, in life, love and spirit.
So, how does one go about dreaming their future?
For me, it is actually to put down some roots. I have a fear of doing such things. I have had so much loss and change in my life, it has been easier just to expect it all the time. I find when other people talk about two or three years ahead my brain and soul have such a hard time understanding that type of thought pattern. I can usually see past the next week.
I have some upcoming opportunities to put down some roots and make a life for myself, but I baulk at such things.
I have been thinking on why this maybe so and have come up with a few signposts.

One, I do not like facing my life alone, this brings up many layers of loss and pain.

Two, being in Service to the Gods, sometimes I have to leave some space so I can go where I am needed

Three, I have been unable to trust myself and those around me for the past few years


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