Freedom’s Just Another Word

After months of having to keep a secret it is finally out.  MInd you it wasn’t even my secret. It was my loves. For over a year he was seeing someone that he did not want me to tell anyone about, well, his family at least. But mind you, I was adopted into the family, so it was my family. It was a large and heavy burden. I was carrying lots of fear, loss and sadness around this whole endeavour and could not even talk to people who cared about me about what was going on. Secrets are poison. Now trust me, I know secrets, I have my own, I keep my own for years and years. But this particular one was painful. I had begged him to tell, but he said no, and then he threatened that if I told I would be on the receiving end of his magical vengeance…really….really dude…lol. So now things feel lighter. I was not the one who “spilled the beans”, but I am sure he blames me for this.
The problem with Loving an addict is that they never are able to take responsibility for their own actions. They are always the fault of someone else and for years, I have been his scapegoat.

I have given him back his life, it is not my responsibility, it is his.

So I feel lighter, and clearer.

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