In an ordeal yesterday I found a few thoughs out about myself, well, not that they are new but I realized hos much repression of things in my life harm me and others.
I am a survivor of sexual assault, and domestic violence. This was not one incident but a lifetime of trauma and numerous assaults. My Love said to me, well you just hate men. I know I used to have a hateful out look toward all men. It wasn’t until I went back to college at USM and met J.C. and D.M. that irealized there were honorable, loving sensetibe men in the world. I had lead such a small life and seemed to attract the same type of men over and over again in my life.
So, my look at men, starting in my childhood was that they are angry, mean, insensitive and predatory, not to be trusted and someone to be afraid of. My first true love, also taught me that they are unstable and I should leave in fear and anticipation of his every move to keep him happy. I then met a good man, who loved and cared for me very much, and that I did not know what to do with…..I did not understand, I was bored.
This past day I remembered a specific event….


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