Went to have tea with a friend today, it was the last time I will see him until I get back from England. It is starting to hit me how many peopole I will miss while I am gone. The people I spend time with, the people I want to spend time with, the people I am just getting to know better.
I am unnerved about how I will be living there and how things will go with my Love. Things have been complicated for a while and I really pray that is uncomplicated a bit at least or changes….but reality the only thing that I can change is me.
That I have been working on….well, not enough as it seems.
I just feel so lonely most of the time….I know it probably not a reasonable feeling, but sometimes it is really strong. A cat, a friend,,,,,these would be things I could sure use more of.
Being in England I will have an entire family….H, and the two kids, and all the pets, My love and his love. Things will be so busy then and so full of people I will be praying for these moments when I feel lonely…..
I am sure I am just putting all my fear and stress into my negative emotions, though I continue to fight that, it is an old habit.

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