sitting listening to the soft rain fall, the rustle of the leaves in the winds…the tires of passing cars splashing the rain

Greif:

One thing I have learned of greif is that it is never truley gone.  It comes in waves.  Sometimes like gentle waves on a lake, sometimes like a Hurricane.  Today it is like a torrental river. My thoughts drift, from making cookies…

In the Darkest days of Fall I seek for some respit from sorrow.  I have grieved every anniversary for Bubba for the past ten years.  This year was the 10th since he has passed.  I find myself kind of geting sick of it all.  I know he would not want me to continue with this emotional torture that I put myself and others through on these times.   I know he would only want for me Joy, Love and Purpose.  These I seek.

So how is it having a relationship with a dead ex husband?  The father of my child?
Well it is complicated.   Bubba and I had been divorced for many years before he passed away.  We had a relationship of friends.  We didn’t speak often, but when we did it was heart felt and

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