In the Dark of the Winter, the dark of my soul shows itself. To turn and face my darkness, my selfishness my fears. I have spent alot of my adult life trying to make up for things I missed. Spending time doing what I want, when I want. Not wanting to answer to anyone for anything. Feeling, or at least justifying to myself doing what ever just to make myself feel better. I am an addict. I will do what feels good for the moment, in the moment not giving much thought to the reprercuswsiona. I have a few ideas on this…one I started using drugs/alcohol and having sex at an early age, and if you take sugar into account then I was about 2, that you stop emotionally maturing at the time you start using. I have lived as a victim most of my life. I kind of just got used to it. My childhood was spent feeling apart from everyone, feeling like I didn’t belong that I was something else. I felt that I was just “bad”, and sought forgiveness for just being me.

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